Thursday, February 5, 2009

"Some Assembly Required"

Parts

  1 Spirit
  1 Torso
  2 Arms
  2 Legs
  1 Head
  2 Eyes
  2 Ears
  1 Mouth
  1 Nose
  200,000 Hairs
  1 Mind
  1 Will
  1 Emotions Kit

Instructions

  Insert Spirit into Torso
  (Make sure it stays whole)
  Attach Arms
  (We’ve included some yarn)
  Join Legs
  (Locate the slots, insert the pegs)
  Secure Head
  (You may have to provide extra thread)
  Insert Eyes, Ears, Mouth, Nose
  (Double-check where everything goes)
  Count each Hair and apply
  (Refer to Figures One through Five)

Step two

  Combine Mind and Will with Emotions Kit
  (Some parts may not precisely fit)

  If all done correctly
    Product now complete

Disclaimer

  All parts shipped damaged
  Undamaged parts missing
  Do not return to store
  Contact Manufacturer
    for replacement parts
  Reference Lot Number One Twenty-Six
  Reference Unit Number Two Seven

For best results
  refer to Owner’s Manual frequently

No comments: