"A Card For The Boss"

You wear it proudly when they play
(Those gridiron dudes from Green Bay)

No one likes moldy cheese,
So get rid of that oldie, please

Here’s a new one without the fuzz
(JJ will likely think this treasonous)

"An Epitaph For Fajitas"

Here lies T. R. Castor
She bought food for a meeting,
Overestimated how many were eating
The credit card, our boss had passed her
Now she's buried in this pasture

"How I Work"

Ten monitors
Nine hours
Eight safety messages
Seven binders
Six coffees
Five computers
Four clipboards
Three maps
Two microphones
One stubby pencil

"Convenient"

"You'll be back tomorrow—
We have the best coffee"
Caffeine dripping with sarcasm?
Or does he really believe it?

Maybe his experience is limited
Or perhaps I missed the wink
Either way, the java's effective

But not so tasty

Just on my way
And only pennies per ounce

I'll be back tomorrow

"Bus Driver"

Precision decision analyst
Spaced-out cushion enthusiast
Green light freshness specialist
Rolling hazard avoidance master
Low speed maneuver maker

Pothole spotter dodger
Foul weather rescue hero
Predawn commuter mover
Destination answer granter

High speed lane wrangler
Blocked road reroute scout
On time departure starter

"It's The Law"

Twinkle, twinkle, lights ahead
Could be orange or blue and red
It’s not really worth a frown
Just move over or slow down
Twinkle, twinkle, lights ahead:
Now the workers shall not dread!

---

adapted from "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"
Lyrics: Jane Taylor, 1806
Tune: anonymous, 1740
Public Domain

"Warning Of Rain"

The sky is falling
The street is rising
You could still slide
Despite your sizing
So let's decrease our speed
And increase their lead
And arrive all the more wisely

"Little Miss Fergus"

Little Miss Fergus
Drove to San Marcos
Her wedding dress waving away

Bride in a wedding
In ol' Springs Dripping
She'll tie the knot two days away

She'd borrowed a truck
And just her fine luck
It only had old cassette tapes

She said, "What the heck?"
Presented her check
Of money, a fair bit she paid

Little Miss Fergus
Had chartered her bus
A limo's too small for this dame

---

adapted from "Little Miss Muffet"
Traditional, 1805
Public domain

"Super Clooper"

Dawn to dusk

Driving a bus

in tight circles

around campus

Hear a train whistle

Think of other routes

They have to wait

HA HA

HA HA

Plenty of places to take a break

Food to eat

rooms to rest

Eleven construction projects

all within sight

Long lonely day in summer

Longer, busier day in fall

Why would you put a bike on my bus?

Why would you put yourself on my bus?

Faster to ride

Faster to walk

Lots of bumps

Five speed humps

Four laps per shift

No that’s just a wish

More like eight

(itty bitty halfs are great)

Where does this bus go?

Round and round

Where do I stop...

Why doesn’t anyone know?

LBJ (Center and street)

Tacos sure would be neat

Sweaties and scientists

Unlived apartments

Commons and Tower

JCK or Jowers?

"O Shift, My Captain"

Seventeen redlines all in a row
Five fluids, what do they mean?
Ask me I’ll know
Tight turns turned
New-hires learned
I wear a really cool hat
Would you like fries with that?
I get paid the big bucks
Don’t you know this job really...
  is the best

"In Honor Of The Last Day Of Finals"

I’ve ridden ‘coasters
I’ve been at sea
I need a new thrill
But what could it be?

I’ll soon be a dad
I’ve trotted the globe
Oh I know!
I’ll go to work wearing a robe!

I woke up next morn
Excited and ‘freshed
Prepped myself
And then got dressed

Coworkers questioned
Passengers just stared
I forgot to tell you
I hadn’t combed my hair

My boss took me aside.
Made me promise, made me swear.
"Please tell me the truth," he begged.
"Are you naked under there?"

The boss of my boss
Showed up with his daughter
Now I’m finished!
Surely headed for slaughter

My effort for a new
Finals tradition
Had instead become
An act of sedition

Too few had applauded
"Enough is enough,"
I said to myself,
"I’m going home…to be in the buff."