"sad"

many times i feel sad

i dont know why

i may have been bad

i think its called depression

when youre always sad

life may be something fun

for you but not for me

i wish i could fly to the sun

but it is too hot and i would die

however that might be fun

i am seeing a doctor

once every two weeks

i knock on his door

he talks to me and gives me medicine

but i dont know if it works from the doctor

whenever it rains

i feel somewhat better

whenever it shines i cry out in pain

maybe its too bright

but i like the rain

i have an uncle whos

been an alcoholic

he got in trouble with the fuzz

hes better now but thats

no excuse for making me go boo-hoo

my mom is on prozac

im on zoloft

both for the same illness

it helped my mom and it should me too

but zoloft is not working maybe will prozac

drugs may help

and they may hurt

ive never tried them

so i dont know

but maybe they do help

i talked to a friend

just last night

she said i should never end

what ive got to live for

i believe her my ex-girlfriend

i know im not alone

but at times i feel like i am 

i can get help through friends on the phone

but sometimes they just laugh and say

sean youre not alone

other kids are alone too

at least they think they are

maybe they just dont know what to do

maybe theyre frightened and lonely

sometimes i am frightened and lonely too

when i was a freshman

and on the swim team

a man hanged himself i think his name was juan

i didnt know him that well

still it impacted my life as a freshman

when i was at camp

in the summer of 95

i sat in my tent with a knife in my hands clamped

i wrote a note to the others and realized that

it would ruin more lives than mine at camp